I read with such delight the issue of the “bagel tax” in last week’s papers…have you heard about this newest tax? Well, it seems that if you slice a bagel in a store, and put a “schmear” on it, then it is taxable..as one assumes you are going to eat it……if you only get a bagel and it is not cut, then it is not taxable…..but if you eat it in the store, then it is taxable……..I find this hysterical.
Now, I haven’t had a bagel in years….first they are fattening, second, I haven’t seen a bagel I was interested in for many years, and I would rather have some wonderful dense bread with lots of flavor, and I certainly would never eat those rings of bread that are called “bagels” on those coffee carts you see around town, that I am convinced only out of towners use…I mean, those are not bagels.
However, when I started to think about this tax thing, it became increasingly diffficult to understand how they were going to enforce this tax. I mean, I see lots of people who buy the bagel, get something put on it (that means cut..so that means tax) and then they walk out of the store……and I see lots of people at let’s say H&H who buy a dozen bagels, and then as they are walking out, or even while at the counter, take a bite out of a bagel….so…..that, now technically means that they should pay the tax…..do they pay the tax on the one bagel they eat, or the whole dozen?
By the way, I asked one of those cart guys if they pay tax on food now, and the guy I asked told me that street vendors don’t charge or pay tax for food? Is that true? I have never eaten from the street and only purchased water, which come to think of it, I didn’t pay tax..so it must be true…so are these guys affected by the new tax or not?
I think that there will have to be bagel security and this might be the perfect job for me……I relish in the idea of stopping the crying 3 year old and wrestling the bagel out of their hand as their parent tries to get them out of the store (again, H&H is a perfect example of a place that is just for bagels..ie not a sit down cafe)..Can you imagine….”excuse me..but your child just took a bite out of that bagel…you owe tax on it” and the ensuing incidents…oh, just the kind of thing we New Yorkers would love…..This job might be very interesting for me when I think about it..I like rules and enforcing them, and this would be fun, although standing on my feet all day might not be..I suppose the benefits would be that I would be teaching someone to respect the rules…
My husband thinks that store owners would love this as they could just charge everyone the tax and steal it…but I think I read that they are going to fine bagel shop owners based on an estimate of sales for not reporting how many people “had it sliced”……I think the only solution is the one I offer here…..Bagel Security to watch for open mouths and bagels shoved in them…..
